It has been a while.
The days flow by slowly, yet all of a sudden it has been a week and then already a month and then another. I know we haven't talked that much lately.. or even at all, tho we promised to stay in touch. But I do think about You and miss You dearly. I hope You know how grateful I am to know and to have met You so I could think back on the moments we were in LA or Portland or Eugene or San Francisco or New York or Callington or Copenhagen or Berlin or Lisbon or Istanbul or Helsinki or Riga or Tallinn... Or any other place where You and I met or hung out.
This letter is to You.
How have You been? Sometimes I happen so see a post or photo from You in Facebook, but recently I've been hungry for more. I want to know how are You. Melanie, do You still live in Paris? Robert, when are You coming back to Tallinn? Kemal, how's little Ayla? Karmen and Jeremy - how was Tartu (I'm so so sad we didn't meet)? Andrew, when do You plan to visit Estonia again? Malcolm, do You still go to those dancing lessons? Ugur, I think about You every time I read another news about Istanbul. Kirsti, Sa oled küll eestlane, ent ma igatsen Sind ka nii nii väga palju ning mõtlen- et millal, oh, millal ma küll Sulle külla jõuan! :) Dan, when will You finally visit Estonia? Neel, can You please please send me a pack of coffee with Rob (w/ a small note, saying "see You in NY" ;) )?
Well it has been more than two months now since I came back from my two-months vacation in California. I somehow feel like I am still there. Or at least a big big part of me is still there. "Everything makes sense" there. I'm so glad that within a year I've been there two times already, and up to three months in total.
So, since I came back I continued my work in Von Krahl Theater. We gave another set of performances of a popular production called "13" (about and for 13-year-olds). Then I was invited to be a part of one choreographer's residency, "Bubbles". And also finalised second part of my future solo project (still untitled). A couple of days ago I took some of my instruments, books and music to the rehearsing space in my theater where I intend to spend a part of my summer vacation to prepare myself for the rehearsals in August. The goal is to experiment and write music for the solo. I am very excited (and scared) because I've never done a solo before, so the self-discipline and self-motivation has to be very high to get the work done. I could always say that "I'm an artist and I need time to sit and wait for the right inspiration to arrive and knock me out...", but the truth is, there should be 99% of work behind it.
Also, two days ago I started my summer job in one restaurant in the Old Town in Tallinn, so I could save some money for my future travels. (I'm still working in Von Krahl, but as our theater is on a holidays for a month, I decided to take an extra work).
So far it has been great - the people working there are super nice and friendly and supportive. What is so interesting about this work is that the business is built up to give the visitor an experience of a medieval Tallinn and introduce estonian cuisine. Pork, beef and chicken of course. Sauerkraut. Potatoes and beans. And of course Kama.
Most of the people visiting our restaurant are tourists from all over the world - they are on a vacation, which means they are on a really really chill mode. It almost feels like I'm on a vacation too, visiting another country. Yes, by the end of the day I'm quite exhausted and my feet hurt, but it's fine! Ha! :)
At this very moment, I'm in my apartment in Tallinn, eating strawberries (yep, the season is finally here!) and listening to Buena Vista Social Club. Today is my brother's birthday and also the summer solstice. I enjoy this time of year in Estonia so much - it's so sunny and light and warm and.. all these other million reasons to live in Estonia (or in northern hemisphere). But in a couple of months, when it will get darker and darker and colder and darker again, then I remember.. "nah, I need more sunshine" and I need to get away from Estonia again. But up to that moment everything is pretty amazing. And I do wish You could be here to see and experience it!
Tomorrow is the Midsummer. I still don't know where I'm going to spend it this year. Last year I was in California on that day (I still don't know the name of the beach - about an hour south from San Francisco). I had brought a tiny-tiny bottle of Estonian liquor Vana Tallinn with me.
I'm pretty sure there wasn't anyone on that beach that evening.
The sun was setting.
I remember I wanted to make a small bonfire, but for some reason I didn't.
There was the ocean and I was just so so high (emotionally!) for just arriving to California and hearing that voice in my head: "Everything makes sense! Everything makes sense! Everything...". That was so amazing. I'm still smiling when I think back on that day.
What else? For this summer I don't have much other plans than just to work in that restaurant, write some music for the solo (I hope to keep You posted with some new sounds and songs in here) and that's about it. Hopefully I get to go to the Positivus Festival in Latvia. Can't wait to get to see and hear the Sigur Ros again. And The XX. The line-up is pretty delicious. Can't wait!
But also I can't wait to hear back from You. So I do hope You will find the moment to write me a few lines.
Take care.
Yours,
Loore
